Cool Hand Luke is no longer just a movie


Read this article. Then tell me you’d be thrilled to have a job even if it meant working for the assholes at Watersaver Faucets. This is the email I sent them:

I heard about your policy to allow employees to only urinate or defecate during “allotted break times” and at most twice a day without being penalized. I don’t see what the fuss is all about. If you can’t “hold it in” you shouldn’t be working. It’s simple economics. The employees complaining should just go back to pissing themselves while watching daytime television and leaching off the rest of us by using welfare.

Despite what I wrote in the previous paragraph in order to hopefully get you to read this I think whomever wrote that policy needs psychiatric help. Do I really have to tell you how fucked up that policy is? I’m a white-collar male (a software engineer) and if you ever attempted to impose such a policy on me I’d shit on your desk and piss in your coffee.